Caught In The Act

See, cats CAN use computers.

Here is a picture of me reviewing the list of humans who I will allow to pet me (page 1 of 4,657,773,225,197).

Don't I have great self-control to ignore the mouse right behind me?

Oh yeah, this is Artemis. My sister Isabella (Miss Stinky-Butt, I call her) usually does the posting but she's busy right now.

Oops, here comes Dad - gotta go.

WHAT is going on here?

I don't understand humans.

My dad has this little metal thing he carries in his pocket. Sometimes he talks to it, and sometimes he points it at us and it goes "click." I was trying to see what it was today and it made that noise. I think mom has one of these too, but hers just buzzes all the time.



My brother Artemis thinks he's a musician. His favorite song is "Everybody Wants to be a Cat," but he can't play it very well. I keep telling him that his tail's not that great for pushing on the keys, and he can just forget about reaching the pedals.




Then there's "outside." What is that, anyway? We like to sit in this basket thing and look out the window. Sometimes there are birds in the bushes - when I see them I just want to pounce on something. What's a bird and why does it have this mysterious power over me?



Oh well, now I'm tired so I think I'll go back to bed for a few hours. Come on, Artemis, let's go nap.


And QUIT SNIFFING MY BUTT!

A Trip to the Vet

You should be really glad you're human.

We had to go to the vet last week, and I'll tell you it was horrible. Well, riding in the car was fun, especially sitting on top of the seat looking out the window and exploring the sweaty bike stuff in the bicky back.

But the vet. First we get there and there are all these dogs - HUGE dogs - barking and growling and generally trying to eat us. I've never been so scared. This is no way to treat a cat.

After a while we went into this little room and got to sit in a white plastic basket. All the humans were yapping about something called a "scale" and how I weigh less than my brother. Whatever. We were just getting into our exploration of this fun place (it even had a keyboard!!) when the VETERINARY ASSISTANT came in with her torture devices.

Oh, sure, she acted nice, and petted us, but that was just an act. First she grabbed me by the stomach, stuck this cold round thing on my chest, and wouldn't let me go, then stuck a cold glass tube up my butt! What's a temperature, anyway?

But the worst, the absolute WORST, was something called a "shot." I'd rather have distemper. The vet went through three needles on my brother. Poor kitty, he was so distraught after this experience he slept in the car all the way home.

Going to the vet is a drag, but at least we don't have to worry about washing our hands after we go to the litter box!

The Horror!

Can you believe what I have to go through at this house? This dog is a menace. As you can see in the picture, she was trying to eat me the other day. She licked my brother one time and his fur was all slobbery and sticking up - gross!! It took him almost an hour to get it to lie down properly, then he was so tired he slept the rest of the day.

You can tell by the pink collar that it's me about to be devoured by the crazed canine. My people call me "Isabelly" and say I'm chubby - does this collar make me look fat?

My brother Artemis has a black and silver collar. Other than that it's difficult to tell us apart. Here's a picture of him hiding from the dog - look at those eyes! Have you ever seen such terror!?! I tell you, it's a miracle we have survived.

Still, all in all this is a pretty good place to live. If we can avoid being squashed, slobbered, or masticated by the dog.

Doing the Laundry

Well, we did the laundry today...or at least we helped fold it. That was fun, except Dad kept pulling the clothes out of the basket and I had to keep trying to get them back in. He doesn't understand anything.

And that dog...well she just sat there taking up space and sniffing my butt. She's weird.

Oh by the way, we're cats. Cute black kittens, that is, with Chocolate Toes. Get it? Besides helping with laundry, we are responsible for inspecting everything that goes on in this house, from the floor up to as high as we can jump or climb. And that's pretty high.

We live with some pretty cool people, but they're always picking us up and kissing us and babbling about how cute we are. Of course we're cute! We're kittens! Don't you wish you were?